I have been thinking about human experience lately.
We work, we have children (or not), we have hobbies, we have adventures, we have conversations, we have feeeeeeelings.
We have opinions.
We have judgments.
Every year Ronnie and I have been together, things in general get better for us. So far, this year can suck it. A big part of my summation of failure (and it's only February, fuuuck) has to do with my dealings with other people.
Just what is wrong with people.
I mean really. It's like I am a magnet for people who are infuriatingly despicable embarrassing representations of all of us. Humanity...the world keeps giving me these gifts of assholes. And I am applying my knowledge to bettering myself and the world around me, really, but I've nearly had enough.
I keep encountering people who seem to have no idea that I can totally tell they are full of shit. Lie to my face, trying to make me think they know everything I don't, not thinking that I will easily learn the truth. Pass horrible judgments about people who trust us, thinking it's okay to set that example for the young humans around us. Live to serve their ego rather than truly help others, not knowing that helping others is helping yourself. {I am helping myself here but also helping you...please spread the word to the assholes in your life: stop being such an asshole. Every little thing you say and do is indicative of your intention in this world. Make the world better for everyone.} People who do not even begin to think about how they present themselves to others. Vain, petty, self-absorbed, lying, immature...bad.
I know I suck at a lot of things but I also know how awesome I am. Often I am taken advantage of because I'm too nice to directly call people on their shit. Lately I have been extremely creative in speaking with others, finding a perfectly diplomatic nice way of pointing out why their words are a waste of precious breath, their ideas are a waste of neural energy, their contributions to our shared Earthly experience is disgusting. Some people, you and I cannot help. We can't set the example of how to be. We can't be followed because our audience doesn't want to be better.
This isn't about how I am better than anyone but it is. I do understand we are a sum of our parts. Life is so unfair. If only certain people could learn their place in the world, understand that some of us are dying having to pick up their slack every second of every day...I wouldn't have to watch Hoarding: Buried Alive, cringe through the first 57 minutes of the show to get to the end where the hoarders are so happy to have a clean healthy home and new positive outlook on life. The clean organized houses are my addiction. I wouldn't have to make the most perfect buttercream frosting ever then be constipated for three days because sugar overload, had to eat some feelings, the only one learning a lesson is me, and please I hope you learn from my delicious mistake. I wouldn't have to feel weirdly shameful for my successes and lovely personality. It's not my fault I'm super awesome. You can be awesome too. Just please stop trying to be awesome at being a dick.
